Darin Hamel
05-07-2007, 01:25 PM
On December 12th in 1985 when I was 19, the 101st Airborne Company that I was assigned to was wiped out in a plane crash returning from a mission in the middle-east. I missed this flight because my father died and I left the mission early. The guilt from surviving left me very disillusioned with life. I sought a spiritual meaning to my pain. A Catholic priest taught me how to meditate and I began to practice this “intense and sustained emotional longing for God” for several hours a day.
Towards the end of 1988 when I tried to go to sleep, I would find myself floating above my bed in another body! It felt like this other body was on fire and filling up with boiling oil. It was horrible. Then after a few nights of this I surrendered to the divine and just trusted in the eternal. Immediately the pain ceased and while I was still out side of my body in another body, I was now in a body of what seemed slightly smaller than my normal one, it was made of pure white light and was wearing a hooded red robe.
Spontaneous out of body experiences began after this. One second I would be lying on my bed or reading a book and I would be suddenly floating in an immaterial body identical to my normal one but looking down on my physical one.
In 1991 I was activated from the Army Reserves to do the Gulf War in March and April. Prior to this I had found a way to live past my physical body’s death but renounced it because it was wrong to do and “let it go”. Then in March of 1992 during prayer there was a descent of spiritual power like liquid lightening on my head, heart and gut.
In 1994 I began a new type of meditation as it was described in “The Cloud of Unknowing” that is an“intense and sustained, non-thinking/non-feeling mental focus on God” to end my out-of-body-experiences once and for all since after having them about twice a month since 1988, they had begun to drive me a little nuts. By June I was up to eight to ten hours a day which included intense Tai Chi practice and breathing exercises. On weekends it would even extend into the twelve to sixteen hour range.
On June 4th I had a vision of a beautiful woman who walked through my wall after meditation and said that I needed to wake up and see. She then gave me a chalice to drink from which I did. Three days later I experienced my last out-of-body experience but it differed from all the rest in that I came out of my forehead in a tiny body.
Then exactly fifty days after coming out of my forehead in July on a walk in the woods, my mind exploded into the universe. Looking at the trees did not reveal leaves and bark. I saw explosions of fiery, living, golden light. It began where the seeds sprouted originally. The explosions then flowed upwards and downwards forming the tree. The dark gravel trail became a stream of glowing gemstones. It was like I woke up and was seeing reality for the first time. I knew, loved and was one with all things.
After this the out-of-body experiences were replaced with inner-body-experiences. I began having what Christian literature calls “rapture” during meditation where it seemed that I was flying at high speed through a tunnel and I would go through various lights that seemed to represent different parts of my body. It began with the in early 1994 with the tiny body that seemed to reside in the belly in a sea of power. This power really began to move in 1995. It caused a circulation of energy where the energy would flow up my spine and down my front. The light I saw in my spine was like luminous, reverberating quicksilver in March of 1997 and on December 25th of 1997 the tiny body seemed to move from the belly to now rest in the solar plexus region with an internal vision of red sparks.
In 1998 I began an all or nothing fast. For twenty one days I ate nothing and drank only water. I went through three trials at this time. The first trial of the present was my mind was flooded with vast magickal knowledge including the ultimate secrets of Taijiquan. After a few hours I realized this was settling on a booby prize when my real was union with God so I chose to let that go and continue my meditation on God and not on gaining super powers.
My second trial was of the past and it started with a flood of past-life memoriesof being a fallen angel seeking redemption. This too after a time I realized as delusion and let that go knowing that I am just a man.
Finally the last trial was of the future and I saw my entire life as building up to this moment. I saw my destiny was to unite all religions under me and I was going to bring war and death to unbelievers and become a God. This too I thankfully recognized as delusional and I let that go also. On the twenty first day I had an epiphany that the true method of return to Spirit is by increasing our sensitivity to Spirit’s still small voice through loving service to all living beings.
In 1999 on March 12th I had my final rapture experience. When it began I immediately surrendered my will to the divine within and at the end of the tunnel in what seemed to be the center of my brain I saw a kaleidoscope of colors, reds, blues, yellows and greens. It was very beautiful. Like a spinning red flaming swastika on a blue circle with a green background. Within the embrace of each arm were four swirling yin/yang like patterns. Outside the large swastika and yin/yang’s were smaller swastikas, spinning also.
I left the world in 2000 giving away everything I owned. But quickly decided I preferred living in the world so I returned and began teaching Tai Chi and did this and my life was peaceful for about three and a half years. But then the desire for truth began to hit me again. I became disillusioned with teaching Tai Chi and began to focus fully on my Catholic Faith. In 2005 I realized I had to stop seeking a formula for ascension and that there’s a difference between knowing the Way and walking in the Way (ala Morpheus).
In the midst of 2006 after spending several years of praying the rosary four to six hours a day before the Blessed Sacrament I have seen the symbolism inherent in the complete liturgical, architectural and hierarchical structure of the Catholic Church that points to an ancient spiritual system designed to lead an individual to ascension. It also seems to have come from earlier pre-Christian sources such as Babylon and Egypt.
This is where I am now. I am trying to figure out that Primal Language/Science/Mysticism which is closely tied to Sacred Geometry that is represented in Religions as diverse as Roman Catholicims and Taoism.
Well thats me! I colored things I thought were important to simplify such a long post too. I hope that makes reading it easier.
Towards the end of 1988 when I tried to go to sleep, I would find myself floating above my bed in another body! It felt like this other body was on fire and filling up with boiling oil. It was horrible. Then after a few nights of this I surrendered to the divine and just trusted in the eternal. Immediately the pain ceased and while I was still out side of my body in another body, I was now in a body of what seemed slightly smaller than my normal one, it was made of pure white light and was wearing a hooded red robe.
Spontaneous out of body experiences began after this. One second I would be lying on my bed or reading a book and I would be suddenly floating in an immaterial body identical to my normal one but looking down on my physical one.
In 1991 I was activated from the Army Reserves to do the Gulf War in March and April. Prior to this I had found a way to live past my physical body’s death but renounced it because it was wrong to do and “let it go”. Then in March of 1992 during prayer there was a descent of spiritual power like liquid lightening on my head, heart and gut.
In 1994 I began a new type of meditation as it was described in “The Cloud of Unknowing” that is an“intense and sustained, non-thinking/non-feeling mental focus on God” to end my out-of-body-experiences once and for all since after having them about twice a month since 1988, they had begun to drive me a little nuts. By June I was up to eight to ten hours a day which included intense Tai Chi practice and breathing exercises. On weekends it would even extend into the twelve to sixteen hour range.
On June 4th I had a vision of a beautiful woman who walked through my wall after meditation and said that I needed to wake up and see. She then gave me a chalice to drink from which I did. Three days later I experienced my last out-of-body experience but it differed from all the rest in that I came out of my forehead in a tiny body.
Then exactly fifty days after coming out of my forehead in July on a walk in the woods, my mind exploded into the universe. Looking at the trees did not reveal leaves and bark. I saw explosions of fiery, living, golden light. It began where the seeds sprouted originally. The explosions then flowed upwards and downwards forming the tree. The dark gravel trail became a stream of glowing gemstones. It was like I woke up and was seeing reality for the first time. I knew, loved and was one with all things.
After this the out-of-body experiences were replaced with inner-body-experiences. I began having what Christian literature calls “rapture” during meditation where it seemed that I was flying at high speed through a tunnel and I would go through various lights that seemed to represent different parts of my body. It began with the in early 1994 with the tiny body that seemed to reside in the belly in a sea of power. This power really began to move in 1995. It caused a circulation of energy where the energy would flow up my spine and down my front. The light I saw in my spine was like luminous, reverberating quicksilver in March of 1997 and on December 25th of 1997 the tiny body seemed to move from the belly to now rest in the solar plexus region with an internal vision of red sparks.
In 1998 I began an all or nothing fast. For twenty one days I ate nothing and drank only water. I went through three trials at this time. The first trial of the present was my mind was flooded with vast magickal knowledge including the ultimate secrets of Taijiquan. After a few hours I realized this was settling on a booby prize when my real was union with God so I chose to let that go and continue my meditation on God and not on gaining super powers.
My second trial was of the past and it started with a flood of past-life memoriesof being a fallen angel seeking redemption. This too after a time I realized as delusion and let that go knowing that I am just a man.
Finally the last trial was of the future and I saw my entire life as building up to this moment. I saw my destiny was to unite all religions under me and I was going to bring war and death to unbelievers and become a God. This too I thankfully recognized as delusional and I let that go also. On the twenty first day I had an epiphany that the true method of return to Spirit is by increasing our sensitivity to Spirit’s still small voice through loving service to all living beings.
In 1999 on March 12th I had my final rapture experience. When it began I immediately surrendered my will to the divine within and at the end of the tunnel in what seemed to be the center of my brain I saw a kaleidoscope of colors, reds, blues, yellows and greens. It was very beautiful. Like a spinning red flaming swastika on a blue circle with a green background. Within the embrace of each arm were four swirling yin/yang like patterns. Outside the large swastika and yin/yang’s were smaller swastikas, spinning also.
I left the world in 2000 giving away everything I owned. But quickly decided I preferred living in the world so I returned and began teaching Tai Chi and did this and my life was peaceful for about three and a half years. But then the desire for truth began to hit me again. I became disillusioned with teaching Tai Chi and began to focus fully on my Catholic Faith. In 2005 I realized I had to stop seeking a formula for ascension and that there’s a difference between knowing the Way and walking in the Way (ala Morpheus).
In the midst of 2006 after spending several years of praying the rosary four to six hours a day before the Blessed Sacrament I have seen the symbolism inherent in the complete liturgical, architectural and hierarchical structure of the Catholic Church that points to an ancient spiritual system designed to lead an individual to ascension. It also seems to have come from earlier pre-Christian sources such as Babylon and Egypt.
This is where I am now. I am trying to figure out that Primal Language/Science/Mysticism which is closely tied to Sacred Geometry that is represented in Religions as diverse as Roman Catholicims and Taoism.
Well thats me! I colored things I thought were important to simplify such a long post too. I hope that makes reading it easier.