Darin Hamel
01-05-2008, 10:20 PM
In 1987 I entered the candidacy for admission into a Roman Catholic Religious Order to become a Priest. The Order sent its candidates to a Seminary in Cromwell, Connecticut. When I arrived in August 1 moved into the religious house owned by the Order. It was here that I met my first spiritual mentor, Father Charles Egan.
Father Egan was everything that is right with the priesthood. We became fast friends and have kept in touch to
this day. He is open, nonjudgmental and very loving. Always ready to give what is needed to serve God.
Father Egan taught me the saying, “My only friend is Jesus”. This was a loving detachment from things and people. A life centered on love for his God. This love then was ever ready to respond to life’s uncertainties. He taught by his own fine example. A credit to the Catholic Faith.
It was here, in this Religious House, I was taught how to meditate. I went a little overboard. While everyone else did twenty minutes a day, I practiced for several hours. I even built a little shrine in my room. I read about the methods of the Catholic mystics. And in true Catholic fashion fasted, sang hymns to the crucifix on the wall and practiced self-flagellation.
Towards the end of 1988 I had a strange experience. At night when I would try to go to sleep fears and shapes I could not make out would assault me. Then, one second I would be on my bed and the next I would be floating above my bed in another body! This would continue until I lost conscious awareness. These episodes lasted five consecutive nights.
During this time I was working construction to pay for school. One of the men I worked with was John. I told John what was happening. He told me the next time it happened to just surrender myself to God. To totally give my fate over to him regardless of the consequences.
All this time I had been instinctively fighting it. It didn’t make sense to stop fighting and trust in God. But on the fifth night I was once again floating in my room in this other body. Once again absolute terror possessed me. My body began to swell as if it was being filled with hot oil and it was becoming heavily muscled. The feelings of rage, hate, lust, and the desire to destroy were overcoming me. Power filled me to capacity. At this moment I felt like a god.
Looking at myself I saw huge arms and legs. More muscle than should be possible. I seemed to be wearing a loincloth. On my wrists and ankles were tied on bands of fur. On my upper arms were metal bands. I looked like some sort of movie barbarian-sorcerer, over seven feet tall and floating a few inches off the floor. It was a total transformation.
Slowly it became painful, with intense pressure and heat. Pressure enough that I soon felt like I was going to burst. My skin began getting black like a liquid smoke was oozing from my pores. Soon the pain was beyond belief.
The power of it all was terrifying and glorious. Fighting it with my own will power but it wasn’t enough. I called on Jesus, recited Hail Mary’s and Our Fathers, and the entire time it was only getting worse. Then, I just gave in to the will of God like John told me to do. Just trusted in providence and relaxed come what may. If I died, so be it. That was Gods will and I would accept it.
Calm and peace now suffused me. The pain and fear were gone. Looking down at the arms of my second body revealed them to be translucent and glowing with inner light. What was before swelled with dark power was now slim and youthful. In fact my entire second body was smaller, like that of a ten or twelve year old. Mysteriously, I was wearing a thick red hooded robe. I then returned to my first body thanking God in the process.
I wasn’t sure I believed what just happened. I certainly didn’t understand what happened. Why hadn’t Jesus saved me? Why didn’t the prayers I had trusted from childhood have any effect? I told no one of this experience except John. Soon afterwards I left the Seminary.
That first blowout experience has had me pondering for years on its meaning and I think I finally have it. I understood the second body being transformed into the evil giant was my unconscious working partially with an image of Mum-Ra from the old Thunder Cats show.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/DairnHamel/Mum-raLarge.jpg
Silly but true, when my anger and dark side empowered my OBE body it unconsciously took the form of Mum-Ra. That is so embarrassing but true.
But after that I became much smaller exuded light from my OBE body and wore a red robe. I have spent years trying to figure out the meaning of the red robe and I finally have it I think.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/DairnHamel/mum-rainredrobe.jpg
Yep, you guessed it. Mum-Ra again. My unconscious once again filled in the empty places with familiar images of my favorite show growing up.
I wonder why it took me 19 years to figure that out?
Father Egan was everything that is right with the priesthood. We became fast friends and have kept in touch to
this day. He is open, nonjudgmental and very loving. Always ready to give what is needed to serve God.
Father Egan taught me the saying, “My only friend is Jesus”. This was a loving detachment from things and people. A life centered on love for his God. This love then was ever ready to respond to life’s uncertainties. He taught by his own fine example. A credit to the Catholic Faith.
It was here, in this Religious House, I was taught how to meditate. I went a little overboard. While everyone else did twenty minutes a day, I practiced for several hours. I even built a little shrine in my room. I read about the methods of the Catholic mystics. And in true Catholic fashion fasted, sang hymns to the crucifix on the wall and practiced self-flagellation.
Towards the end of 1988 I had a strange experience. At night when I would try to go to sleep fears and shapes I could not make out would assault me. Then, one second I would be on my bed and the next I would be floating above my bed in another body! This would continue until I lost conscious awareness. These episodes lasted five consecutive nights.
During this time I was working construction to pay for school. One of the men I worked with was John. I told John what was happening. He told me the next time it happened to just surrender myself to God. To totally give my fate over to him regardless of the consequences.
All this time I had been instinctively fighting it. It didn’t make sense to stop fighting and trust in God. But on the fifth night I was once again floating in my room in this other body. Once again absolute terror possessed me. My body began to swell as if it was being filled with hot oil and it was becoming heavily muscled. The feelings of rage, hate, lust, and the desire to destroy were overcoming me. Power filled me to capacity. At this moment I felt like a god.
Looking at myself I saw huge arms and legs. More muscle than should be possible. I seemed to be wearing a loincloth. On my wrists and ankles were tied on bands of fur. On my upper arms were metal bands. I looked like some sort of movie barbarian-sorcerer, over seven feet tall and floating a few inches off the floor. It was a total transformation.
Slowly it became painful, with intense pressure and heat. Pressure enough that I soon felt like I was going to burst. My skin began getting black like a liquid smoke was oozing from my pores. Soon the pain was beyond belief.
The power of it all was terrifying and glorious. Fighting it with my own will power but it wasn’t enough. I called on Jesus, recited Hail Mary’s and Our Fathers, and the entire time it was only getting worse. Then, I just gave in to the will of God like John told me to do. Just trusted in providence and relaxed come what may. If I died, so be it. That was Gods will and I would accept it.
Calm and peace now suffused me. The pain and fear were gone. Looking down at the arms of my second body revealed them to be translucent and glowing with inner light. What was before swelled with dark power was now slim and youthful. In fact my entire second body was smaller, like that of a ten or twelve year old. Mysteriously, I was wearing a thick red hooded robe. I then returned to my first body thanking God in the process.
I wasn’t sure I believed what just happened. I certainly didn’t understand what happened. Why hadn’t Jesus saved me? Why didn’t the prayers I had trusted from childhood have any effect? I told no one of this experience except John. Soon afterwards I left the Seminary.
That first blowout experience has had me pondering for years on its meaning and I think I finally have it. I understood the second body being transformed into the evil giant was my unconscious working partially with an image of Mum-Ra from the old Thunder Cats show.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/DairnHamel/Mum-raLarge.jpg
Silly but true, when my anger and dark side empowered my OBE body it unconsciously took the form of Mum-Ra. That is so embarrassing but true.
But after that I became much smaller exuded light from my OBE body and wore a red robe. I have spent years trying to figure out the meaning of the red robe and I finally have it I think.
http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b189/DairnHamel/mum-rainredrobe.jpg
Yep, you guessed it. Mum-Ra again. My unconscious once again filled in the empty places with familiar images of my favorite show growing up.
I wonder why it took me 19 years to figure that out?