Dream: Violent man tried to kill me at school, also cheese.

[Deimos]

I had a dream last night that there was at school and that there was a really crazy man who kept trying to kill me. I remember slashed wrists, specifically a doll with slashed wrists. (It was really emo, now that I think about it.)


In the dream I healed myself from the wounds he gave me by drinking goat's milk. The dream convinced my to buy some goat cheese today and tried it to see how it affected me but unfortunately it still seems to be one of the things that I react strongly about.


At the end of the dream I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people and one of them, a lady, was doing a psychic reading on me and kept saying how dark, selfish, and evil I was and I kept trying to say "Yeah, that's pretty spot on but hold on a second, let me explain!":laugh:


The dream was really vivid and different from the usual dreams I have(I rarely remember them) because it didn't seem to be a rehash of anything that I had done today. Just now, after a really tasty goat cheese salad(I couldn't find mozzarella to cube into the Greek salad that I was planning to make for the family and used goat cheese as a replacement) I ran across an article about a school shooting. I was kind of freaked out because it reminded me of my dream(not the least of which because I had just had goat dairy) so I clicked to read the whole article and the first thing that I saw was that 22 people had been shot, which freaked me out much more because the number 22 is a recurring synchronicity of mine.

I don't know what came first here, the event itself or my psychic connection to it, but I think I'm going to go back to fasting and avoid goat dairy for good(I only ate it because I thought goat dairy would be good in helping me build up my blood since on my fast after I healed a lot I improved my blood flow but kept the same volume of blood).

[Naomi]

But goat milk is good for you goat cheese isn't from what I know.

Also I use red meat to rebuild my blood levels, just had a rare hamburger...

Avocados are also good for building strength after sickness.

Strange about the murders...last year as I was going through some intense changes I remember there was flooding in the north of this side of the US and fires in the south, I was of course giggling madly about this and thought it was all my doing since a few days before I had been desiring the death of millions across the planet. Also this happened about three days after the big school shooting in Nashville...or somewhere around that timeline. One of the things that seemed to make me believe this was I was building this altar in goddess mode and i kept getting the psychic feedback of this unknown goddess with a very strong signature demanding sacrifices to even be roused from her death-like sleep....then the shooting happened the next day or so? I don't remember. It was close to here.

Maybe we're just naturally tuned in to the darker side of things given our nature and the power of our psychic minds which as we both know is pretty intense...

[Deimos]

Maybe. The dream seemed predictive and that's what I commented on but I had been doing things earlier in the afternoon that day that bear an even more uncanny relationship to the murders.

Plus, you know, I had been wondering what it would feel like to kill someone that day too, for some reason. Now I'm kind of wondering how it would feel like if I thought about the situation while stopping the stress and epinephrine releases that are getting me all worked up about the situation.

[Naomi]

oh also I told you about Ningishzidda right and how he kept telling me to read your posts to learn how to eat right? Well while this was happening it felt like something was scanning my mind to gauge my reaction to phenomenon like the fires and floods and shootings, to find out what was wrong with me/this realm which were the same during the process. Like I was being used as some kind of psychic thermometer for the world at large. No fail or save but more like a measurement of the desperation of the divine feminine in the world...like this wasn't on a personal level at all, that had already taken place days beforehand. Then I was told I was going to be doing some work and agreed to it.

But I find this all really curious Deimos, it's like we're sort of cut from the same fabric, it's really weird....the rabbit hole never ends it just you stop falling so fast and have to start digging a little slower....heh

[Naomi]

Maybe. The dream seemed predictive and that's what I commented on but I had been doing things earlier in the afternoon that day that bear an even more uncanny relationship to the murders.

Plus, you know, I had been wondering what it would feel like to kill someone that day too, for some reason. Now I'm kind of wondering how it would feel like if I thought about the situation while stopping the stress and epinephrine releases that are getting me all worked up about the situation.

I used to think about killing people alot but I stopped after the Ningishzidda incident...except for very rare occasions instigated by him and over very specific things pertaining to deities and archetypes as well as armageddon scenario prevention visions.

Yet always having been obsessed with the macabre it's only naturally I find myself on the rebound, this is a natural tantric symptom of indulgence and why tantra is valuable - well at least in one way - we are saved by that which we are damned. There are some tantric teachings that deal specifically with murder, the practitioner acts out ritual murder upon his partner as a form of mental exercise - no one is harmed - it's all a ritual and done in a way that is harmless.

it's ok to think about murder - just don't get foolish with it, those are yama's realm and tied directly ino justice and law...just as with any indulgence.

[Deimos]

oh also I told you about Ningishzidda right and how he kept telling me to read your posts to learn how to eat right? Well while this was happening it felt like something was scanning my mind to gauge my reaction to phenomenon like the fires and floods and shootings, to find out what was wrong with me/this realm which were the same during the process. Like I was being used as some kind of psychic thermometer for the world at large. No fail or save but more like a measurement of the desperation of the divine feminine in the world...like this wasn't on a personal level at all, that had already taken place days beforehand. Then I was told I was going to be doing some work and agreed to it.

But I find this all really curious Deimos, it's like we're sort of cut from the same fabric, it's really weird....the rabbit hole never ends it just you stop falling so fast and have to start digging a little slower....heh

I've absolutely no doubt that we're related in a very real and very profound way. I find myself thinking of you almost like my "nice psychic alien big sister" in a sense at times, who just happens to be nicer and less crazy than me.