I feel like a piece of shit:

[Marcus_]

:no:......



:laugh: I'm tired and failing.

Every once in a while, people get the cold or the flu.

Well, emotional illness comes and goes.

I'll be screwed for a few days, n then be fine.

Wish me luck, lol.

[m1thr0s]

well...you're one of the more engaginging pieces of shit I have run into in awhile Marcus, if that helps any...:mwink:

hope you get to feeling better...I am supposedly bi-polar manic depressive myself...or so they say...

mostly I think it's just that my life is all ass-backwards relative to my mind...

m1thr0s

[Radiant Star]

Its been a difficult month all round hasn't it.

I am on my third virus, latest involved a sore throat and after a whole month of various illnesses and symptons, I feel yuk too, does that help :laugh:

Its one of those times when those sayings that go around like "There is only one thing that is certain, that is change" starts to mean a great deal to me.

If change means being well for a change, then yes please :D

[fr.novumorganum]

:p blame it on saturn

and banish with laughter:rofl:

[Marcus_]

:laugh:

& also, @ m1rth0s:

All simials are "bipolar". They get tired after a discharge of strength. They get down after too much excitement. Etc. ;)

[m1thr0s]

yeah, that's right...now where did I put that freaking banana?:mconfused:

hehe...

m1thr0s

[fr.novumorganum]

I'd like to smoke a bannana right now

ah it feels soooooo good to be have the intranet at home again:tnerd::vengeance:

[Kuroyagi]

Hey if you feel like shit I have a suggestion for you: why dont you "tune into your ultimate self". That always works for me...:p :laugh:

[Marcus_]

Hey if you feel like shit I have a suggestion for you: why dont you "tune into your ultimate self". That always works for me...:p :laugh:
Always a good idea. ;)



ah it feels soooooo good to be have the intranet at home again:tnerd::vengeance:
You'll be posting more?

[Amur]

well...you're one of the more engaginging pieces of shit I have run into in awhile Marcus, if that helps any...:mwink:

hope you get to feeling better...I am supposedly bi-polar manic depressive myself...or so they say...

mostly I think it's just that my life is all ass-backwards relative to my mind...

m1thr0s

rofl.. You too? You might want to check what path your kundalini is flowing. If it's going up front up, then it's Bi-Polar. If it's going from back, up to the brain, then I guess you're ok. You might check it with breathing exercises, to check which way runs more 'friction'.

I believe all the true Kings have it reversed just because of this piece of #"!¤"#%#. No wonder ppl are pissed off.

Was 'fun' one time when I was playing around with my sexual energy, almost getting it running back-up-front and becoming healed, then I went outside and by some unexpected phenomality it got reversed again and crashed down into insanity rofl. Before that my area of influence(aura) was something like 50m / or more in radius. Wonder when they will let go heh.

[Kain]

...I am supposedly bi-polar manic depressive myself...or so they say...Lol...me too! I've gotten slightly better recently though it seems as far as control it goes...


Kain

[Phoenix]

May I join you ...

1 Depression shaken not stirred


:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:


:shitstorm::shitstorm::shitstorm:

[m1thr0s]

Depression is very creative though...that's one of the really annoying things about it I think...it's so goddamm prolific, etc...

The trick is putting it to some good use despite its natural inclination...

m1thr0s

[Amur]

Oddly, the times that I've been nearer to the so called 'enlightenment' state I've been broken up as hell. Another thing with this breaking up sort of thing is that now I have access to brain power which can simulate many million things at the same time. I can also observe many many many points at the same time. So I guess there is some point to all this suffering. In terms of genius, I am a super-genius, though unfortunately it doesn't come without the other polarity which is being emotionally dumb as a kite. :laugh: There is apparently whole areas which I'm alltogether blind over. But in terms of logicality this ship should maneuver quite far ahead.

From experience it looks like the part that gets traumatized goes away emotionally and gets a logical replacement. The emotional part which has gone away has the 'gem' in it when one goes and gets over the logical replacement. When one gets the emotional gem back, you get a bonus by having the logical replacement also along with a shitloads of new energy from the gem. This can also be observed in traumatized children. They seem much older than what they are, they are more intelligent than their fellow players and so on. Though much harder to keep them in line and many certainly break the rules just because they have that inner demon possessing them everynow and then *grin*.

[Anibis]

Now this is a fascinating, post and I agree, and can attest to it's accuracy. I particularly like the idea of the gem, its replacement and it's recovery. For me, the Lurianic idea of 'sparks' in the abyss and the task of their recovery has played a similar healing role in my life. As for the comment you made about traumatized children, it reminds me. One time I was up north in Ontario on the train from Moosanee (they call it the Polar Bear Express). There was this native kid there who had the most amazing collectedness I had ever seen. He was about seven, but held himself and surveyed the space around him like an adult would. It was quite striking. Trauma, depression, a sense of lostness, in one way they are chalenges that properly dealt with will draw out a sense of purpose which would otherwise remain dormant. Back to the Athanor analogy for another thread: specific pressures and temperatures when applied to certain substances cause them to transform. You just gotta hold yourself together (in the crucible).
-Ibisis


Oddly, the times that I've been nearer to the so called 'enlightenment' state I've been broken up as hell. Another thing with this breaking up sort of thing is that now I have access to brain power which can simulate many million things at the same time. I can also observe many many many points at the same time. So I guess there is some point to all this suffering. In terms of genius, I am a super-genius, though unfortunately it doesn't come without the other polarity which is being emotionally dumb as a kite. :laugh: There is apparently whole areas which I'm alltogether blind over. But in terms of logicality this ship should maneuver quite far ahead.

From experience it looks like the part that gets traumatized goes away emotionally and gets a logical replacement. The emotional part which has gone away has the 'gem' in it when one goes and gets over the logical replacement. When one gets the emotional gem back, you get a bonus by having the logical replacement also along with a shitloads of new energy from the gem. This can also be observed in traumatized children. They seem much older than what they are, they are more intelligent than their fellow players and so on. Though much harder to keep them in line and many certainly break the rules just because they have that inner demon possessing them everynow and then *grin*.

[baenheh]

Bi-polar is a label for a symptom, of which I also have been catagorized in the past. You will also find a lot of kundalini activated people, are also told that they are bi-polar because they are experiencing deeper than the 'norm' range of thoughts and feelings.
Well 'Der' :rolleyes: It is an expansion of self to the pits of a diamond mine, and the heights beyond physical plane experience. Does a catepillar in a chrysalis stage know what its like to be a butterfly or what colour it will become?
Its a process lol not an absolute condition, Bi-polar to me means something internal is rectifying itself, and probably from all the suppressed shit thats moulded into us since birth, to so called civilized man. :rofl:

If the experts could only find a cure for awakening and enlightenment, they would definately try to 'fix us' and keep us like robots or zombies, with no depth, sensitivity or evolved faculties.

When my depressive phase arrives, I dive right in and feel as shit as possible, then ride with a few deep breaths, focusing on the stars, universe or concept of 'one' which circulates the energy back into equilibrium after a while.
If I hesitate or disown anything in an upper or downer phase, then it stuffs up the flow even more. I find if I get over any self-judgement and just get out of the way for a while, allowing the dissolution and rebuilding to occur, then so much the better.:D
A lot of stuff flows through man, the more open one is, the more aware that he is a sensitive soul with larger depths of field to create with.

I love this by Emerson-

God will not make himself manifest to cowards. A secret which every intellectual man quickly learns, that beyond the energy of his possessed and conscious intellect, he is capable of a new energy (as of intellect doubled on itself) by abandonment to the nature of things, that beside his privacy of power as an individual man, there is a great public power on which he can draw, by unlocking at all risks, his human doors, and suffering the ethereal tides to roll and circulate through him, then he is caught up into the life of the universe , his speech is thunder, his thought is law, and his words are universally intelligible as the plants and animals.
Emerson 1844.

[m1thr0s]

When my depressive phase arrives, I dive right in and feel as shit as possible, then ride with a few deep breaths, focusing on the stars, universe or concept of 'one' which circulates the energy back into equilibrium after a while.Stylin'...I like that ;)

I've also been classed as having Asperger's Syndrome...which means what...I know how to concentrate! :rofl: :laugh: :rofl:

m1thr0s

[Phoenix]

If the experts could only find a cure for awakening and enlightenment, they would definately try to 'fix us' and keep us like robots or zombies, with no depth, sensitivity or evolved faculties.

When my depressive phase arrives, I dive right in and feel as shit as possible, then ride with a few deep breaths, focusing on the stars, universe or concept of 'one' which circulates the energy back into equilibrium after a while.
If I hesitate or disown anything in an upper or downer phase, then it stuffs up the flow even more. I find if I get over any self-judgement and just get out of the way for a while, allowing the dissolution and rebuilding to occur, then so much the better.:D
A lot of stuff flows through man, the more open one is, the more aware that he is a sensitive soul with larger depths of field to create with.

Well as I stated before i am From portugal, and we have/had a few "depressed" or unfit writters who are absolute geniuses if you can search for info on Fernando Pessoa, few people understood it´s work, give him a chance http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fernando_Pessoa :yes:
Here´s a sample:



I'm nothing.
I'll always be nothing.
I can't want to be nothing.
Apart from that, I have in me all the dreams of the world.

Álvaro de Campos: 'The Tobacco Shop' ('Tabacaria')

On the matter of zombiefied brains by the expert´s, they should give up, a new age is coming and they are becoming outdated on reasearch, the public in general are becoming more aware of "what´s really important in life ", people are focussing on actual personal development instead of "search for the money", whell until someone learn how to make a buck out of it...:(

[fr.novumorganum]

ok today i can't motivate myself for shit:dunno: :dazed:

[MythMath]

Strike while the iron's hot...:yes:

Chill when it's not...;)

[m1thr0s]

feeling like shit always seems a little extravagant to me...like an indulgence of the affluent or something. When you're really screwed you're not thinking about feeling like shit...you're just trying to stay alive basically and focused on getting through the shit itself...

that probably doesn't help anybody feel any better but maybe feeling good in itself isn't really the issue anyway. It may be more a question of one's involvement than one's emotional condition per se...

who knows...just something I have hit upon periodically...

m1thr0s

[Marcus_]

I'm back online. 11/13/2006.

My router was dead for a few weeks, but I'm glad to be back :p

[Kain]

Good to have you back Marcus_!

Kain

[Marcus_]

Thanks Kian.

Want my concern in any area? Maybe some questions or communion?
=)
*Sends luv.*

Take that, maleness! Take that, false strength!
Here, hug this bokey of flowers, and curse God.

(Laughs)

..(that was a joke)

[MythMath]

Thanks Kian...

Peppered with typos...;)

[Marcus_]

Lol. Yeah, check out your genetic codes after 60 replecations. Every damn thing around here is "imperfect", lol. ;)

[Phoenix]

I need ...whatever...

im sick of trying to research several subjects but when i think im on the right path i discover im going backwords...

this is frustrating ... years running around in circles leading nowhere, false truths and false faith missinformation every where...

thanks

just wanted to let some steam out

:o_O:

[m1thr0s]

yeah...too much of nuthin'...I know that drill...

maybe try just focusing on one thing only for awhile and see how that goes...something useful...like just being who you are etc...

pretty much anything you do to perfection is a perfect path isn't it?

Writers (well, some writers...) might spend their whole lives just working on "authenticity" for instance...just that...screw all the other stuff...just get that one thing down pat. Those that make it halfway or better wind up being pretty damn good writers...Cuz what just naturally happens see when you're zeroed in like that is that all the other stuff just sort of lines itself up as needed. So you don't have to stress the little shit...just nail the one thing solid and the rest slides right in behind it. Kind of a neat trick actually.

m1thr0s

[feranaja]

pretty much anything you do to perfection is a perfect path isn't it?

m1thr0s


You just summed up the entire meaning of my so-called dog book, in one line...:laugh:

It's not about what you do its how you do it...and if you can do one thing REALLY well - that's your genius...
woof woof... hey I feel a topic coming on here...rofl...

[m1thr0s]

this whole damn world has gone multi-tasking-psycho if you ask me.
There's a hell of a lot to be said for single-mindedness...you just have to pick a really good target.
Just something that matters, that's all...

m1thr0s