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Okazaki Castle
12-03-2006, 10:54 AM
So back in Sparta we used to have this game where we'd insult each other. The Athenians used to sit around praising each other all the time, because their egos were weak and they needed mutual self-comfort. We, being arrogant and far better at war used to sit around insulting each other after dinner. As a game. It was very funny actually. Can't do it if your ego is weak, obviously, though... More on that and how it worked later sometime. For now, here's some Insults with Style. Because the arts of insulting others have sadly fallen by the wayside in these modern, weak, PC times...


"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure."
-- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big
words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it."
-- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man
I know."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
-- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play,
bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...if there
is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you
here."
-- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial."
-- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in
others."
-- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."
-- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of
human knowledge."
-- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but
by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded
easily."
-- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?"
-- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support
rather than illumination."
-- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

Regards all,
Okazaki Castle.

Sibylle
12-03-2006, 04:10 PM
I like those a lot.

Hope I don't see you later.

MythMath
12-03-2006, 05:12 PM
Very clever...
I didn't waste any time reading them...:laugh:
________________

It's hard to beat Wilde,
{easy for some, I'm sure}
but I enjoyed this exchange:

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night
of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night,
will attend second...if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response

feranaja
12-04-2006, 07:05 AM
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-- Forrest Tucker

ROFL!!!

some personal favourites:


Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess: "If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison."
Winston Churchill: "If I were your husband, madam, I should drink it."

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest. ~Steven Pearl

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing. ~Oscar Levant

and for some reason, this one cracks me up:

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. ~English professor, Ohio University


fera

YellowJacket
12-05-2006, 04:23 PM
If you say a modern celebrity
is an adulterer,
a pervert,
and a drug addict,
all it means is that
you've read his autobiography. P. J. O'ROURKE

Anibis
12-05-2006, 04:38 PM
Your face is worth a thousand condom commercials.
-someone, I forget who-
-Ib

Okazaki Castle
12-06-2006, 03:05 PM
Tell him I'm f*cking busy, or vice versa.

-Dorothy Parker.

Oz.

m1thr0s
12-07-2006, 12:30 AM
delusions of adequacy...that's rich...:laugh:

m1thr0s

Aodh
12-07-2006, 06:21 AM
*commenting on a girl's drawing of her daily routine for Spanish class*

Me: "Don't you think that bus should be shorter?
Her: "What? I don't get what you mean.
Me: "That's precisely my point."

It seemed a rather good one at the time although its panache is fading.

YsetEternal
12-07-2006, 09:18 AM
"I wouldnt suck your lousy c*ck if I were suffocating and there was oxygen in your balls!"

"Writing a book hippie? Why dont you go listen to some folk music and leave me alone."


Courtesy of "Female Trouble" a John Waters film. Said by Mink Stole.

A priceless movie indeed...

Well okay they are probably the most classless lines your gonna here, but hilarious all the same...

YsetEternal
12-08-2006, 10:50 AM
oh come on, with the twisted minds around here, I know someof you found them hilarious...

Wezzard
03-09-2007, 05:15 PM
This one's hilarious...

oh come on, with the twisted minds around here, I know someof you found them hilarious...

Wezzard
03-12-2007, 03:52 AM
Aw COME ON, I know twisted minds around here found that hilarious...

:(Frick !

Dragon
03-12-2007, 04:51 AM
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
- Groucho Marx

Okazaki Castle
03-12-2007, 08:07 AM
Thine breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.


Henry VI, part 2

OC.

Okazaki Castle
03-13-2007, 10:44 AM
Strange and terrible are the Hounds of the Barrier.

Well, I find it funny... dutch humour, it's kind of weird...

.OC.

Okazaki Castle
03-13-2007, 02:25 PM
The Magic Roundabout must have rejected your insanity plea, Zebeddee. Don't be a Dougal now, be yourself!! Zebeddee.


http://img58.imageshack.us/img58/247/zebedeeri2.jpg

.OC.