Group vs Solitary

[feranaja]

I've been back and forth on this many times and had important, transformative experiences from both approaches. Over the past 3 years I've been very focused on my career and also on solitary, CM type work...now lately I've been feeling this pull to start a group again ('compensatory', Nuhad calls it) but be that as it may - I've been toying with the idea for a few months, and last week (as if by magic) I was approached by a few local people who want to start a working group and want me to "lead" it. While I'm uncomfortable with a static leadership I do see that often it takes an experienced person to pull a group together, and then once it has wings you can step back and pass the wand. It's also an opportunity for me to apply my own system, and develop it with an actual group as opposed to the solitary system it currently is.

I have tremendous respect and affection for the poeple who I'm thinking of working with,and that has to count for a lot I would think.

I'll Tarot this of course and think about it deeply, but I wanted to ask my wise friends here what you think...how have your own group experiences stood up to your solitary work? Which do you prefer? Seeing as there are pros and cons to both - how does one decide? I've missed the camaraderie, fun, power and access to reality checks that a good group provides - havent missed being a babysitter and endless listener/lay therapist, but I think I'm able to deflect that role now, whereas in younger days I sort of attracted it.

What's your take on group vs solo work? Any ideas as to what I need to ask myself about this? I'm already looking at the time- and- ego issues - anything else?

fera

[m1thr0s]

everything has its place and there's pro's and con's to all of it. group stuff can be very good for triggering the unexpected I think, leading you in directions you might have missed or maybe thought unimportant etc... and there's the whole thing about actually being able to impact somebody in ways nearly impossible to achieve in cyberspace or through isolation...

m1thr0s

[YsetEternal]

You know, its as m1thr0s said.

Each one definately has both advantages as well as disadvantages. Its a matter of timing and readiness.

At this point in my life I would say that I would prefer a group setting. Though Solitary practice definately has its advantages and disadvantages as well...

[Radiant Star]

Its one of those key issues isn’t it - solitary or group – it comes up time and again.

I have on a few occasions been part of a ritual group, it does absolutely nothing for me at all; although actually leading a small spiritual group some years ago really inspired me like almost nothing else could at the time. What I gleaned from both kinds of group experience is that I am best in a leading or management role. Many have recognized this over the years and tried to persuade me into going for that kind of thing. I usually avoid it because for me personally, I just work better alone with occasional ‘touchdown’ points. Solitary is my own first choice and best fit.

I think ego always plays a part in anything we do but people worry about ego far to much in my opinion. I think more important factors are time, interest and resources.

The ideal solution would seem to be to set a limited time for leading a group and then review when those weeks or months end to see if you want to pass that role on. You may find you prefer the freedom of being a participant rather than having overall responsibility. You may even have your group fix and then yearn for the solitary again.

Nothing to be lost from giving it a go for a specified time.

[YsetEternal]

You know, you touched upon a good point Rays, EGO...

I find when working with a group setting I am actually able to let go of ego and actually provide more to the group and working this way. But from my experience, EGO is a big part of group practice even though if the ego is left behind, I find that it makes for a much more powerful and profound experience.

Thats one reason I dislike solitary practice. At least for me it seems to bring out ego often and make the rituals less effective because ego is wooried if things are done right, if enough energy was put into the workings and ego sits and waits to see what happens as another success is another notch on the belt soto speak...

So right now, that is why I would prefer to be in a group. I can let go of ego and fully partake and give of the working at hand in a more direct manner believe it or not...

On another note, the effect of the group ego free workings mentioned in first paragraph, I find that ego returns afterwards because I know that my part has been fulfilled effectively and that it will come to fruition without a doubt. I guess its like an ego boost after the fact, which can be bad also... I dont know, I just see both as being a way to practice my magick, and thus far I do prefer to do so in a group setting.

[Sibylle]

It partly depends upon the work being done, along with the personality of the individuals. Personally, I've always preferred being solitary, although there was a time when the opportunity arose to work with a friend and her good friend. That's as close to group work as I've ever been, but I was not comfortable about it. I was in fact uncomfortable about being involved in any way with the person I did not know well. True to form, and in line with my being hermit-like and having trust "issues", I declined. I know it was the right decision. Still, I wouldn't mind aligning with like-minded groups.

[Talkingfox]

Well, over the years I've done the solitary thing, I've done the group thing, I've done the great big festival sized group thing. Currently I prefer small chosen groups for special workings.
For me it all depends on the group, the need at hand and where my head is at the time. For now I'm enjoying the silence that deep winter affords me here.

[feranaja]

everything has its place and there's pro's and con's to all of it. group stuff can be very good for triggering the unexpected I think, leading you in directions you might have missed or maybe thought unimportant etc... and there's the whole thing about actually being able to impact somebody in ways nearly impossible to achieve in cyberspace or through isolation...

m1thr0s

I've been thinking about this since your reply, m1thr0s and today while I was out in the woods it came to me why I felt some resonance here.
The issue I'm having is not about beng in a group per se - NUhad and I were just today talking about how important community can be - it's the idea of leading a group that concerns me. Seems to me I get overly concerned about doing a good job, meeting everyone's needs etc and end up sort of closed off to the unexpected. I really like that idea; in fact I think I NEED to open to it right now. BUt if I'm the leader I'll feel pressure. Maybe we can work something out so I'm an Elder but not The Cheese so to speak. People are always putting me in that role and I'm too absorbed with work, dogs and my private stuff to adequately embody it; I generally end up seeing their needs as a burden when in fact it was my responsibility not to take on more than I can handle in the first place. I think I just need to be part of this potential group and maybe start a few thinsg rolling(I am the most experienced, to be fair) and then let it develop on its own....


Thank you for the clarity - it's exactly what I needed to think about.
fera

[feranaja]

Looking over the other replies - and thank you everyone - I see that mostly people prefer solo work but some wouldnt mnd a group setting IF it were the right one. Absolutley I agree, it's a terrible time waster to work with a group that isn't a good fit..been there, done that. And you know Yset - I have more ego issues in a group becasue I get all concerned about how everyone else is doing, how they see me - in itslef that can be a good thing to try to work out. It takes a helluva lot of trust for me to be vulnerable around people; I'm always always trying to do my very best. I think it makes me come across as a bit anal...would be nice to have a circle where I felt enough respect to allow myself to be imperfect.

hhhmm...more food for thought. WE're doing a small informal circle after Christmas, so I'll let you know how it goes.
fera

[Nuhad418]

As you may know (lol) I have had limited contact with group working and each time I did it ended horribly but each time offered insights I would not have had otherwise. But I think this solo vs. group is everywhere in the occult tradition. In Thelema you have the split between A.:A.: (individual is emphasised) and the O.T.O. (the individual is still important but there is an obvious communal participation in things like the Gnostic Mass). In "traditional" Wicca one does their own work but one is also bound to the coven. In, as I am discovering, Asatru or similar tradtions there is an emphasis on individual practice (keep the troth and honour the gods) and there is an expectation that one contributes to the community of peers. I now see them as equally important and both, I think, are necessary.

However, being solitary means no worries with power dynamic or personality conflicts. It means the rituals or worship/practice is always right and "true" and it feels great to know you did all the work yourself. Then the solitary is also cutoff from others of similar mind (I really think the internet has serious limits) and is unable, to a degree, to build a solid network of friends and family to not only count on but also to help and support. I think if one dreads the idea of group work that is exactly what is needed and the reverse is true too...social butterflies need to face their personal demons too.

In your case perhaps you could see yourself not as a "leader" but as the catalyst that begins the wheel of your group turning. After it gains momentum it will take care of itself...or blow up in the effort! :rofl:

[m1thr0s]

Maybe we can work something out so I'm an Elder but not The Cheese so to speak.being the grand poompah means you get to make the rules, right? Well...at least in theory anyway. There must certainly be a way to structure things that lets people know from page one that you are there to facilitate and quality-check...not change diapers or do people's homework for them...not to babysit or midwife or council. This all has to do with teaching a group to rely upon itself as a group more than relying upon its leadership...it also goes a long way towards teaching people to rely upon themselves. People have to be taught how to do that because there are ways to go about it all wrong. There's a certain science to doing it right.

m1thr0s