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View Full Version : Memoir, an unravelling


feranaja
12-29-2006, 08:02 PM
Vista One


We could have lived in a simpler way
but the world was too much with me
the waves outside made me wild, and the wind was a bridge
in my heart, in my heart like an organ of fire and sand
a stranger sort of pulling
you couldnt imagine
but listen; you'll hear it, the whistling outside and the bones flying by
they knock the windows as they pass
I was always afraid one would shatter
I think I was always...afraid


(I'm talking with the dead I told him - oh what are they saying he gleefully asked)

Come back come back, so you've pulled the sea through
it wasnt your time, come back come back said you


And so I'm obedient.
I lay in bed for months afterwards dreaming of giant purple coneflowers,
narwhals that flew
and a strangely spotted dog falling off a rooftop
Recovering: slowly I put all the corpses away
(it was very nice talking and thanks for your time)
and with a pat on my back said: I did it, I lived


and now all I remember now is you free on the tides
like a long strand of kelp now, like a song from the past
unravelling before me down the long tunnel of time - now
watching the sea (now) from your station
sleeping beside me on the sand - now now now

....then...

it wasnt the simplicity that got me in the end
or even the flying corpses
it was the slow demonic prickling
every day and every night
of the wind
and the times I saw Jesus
out dancing on the waves

feranaja
12-31-2006, 11:26 PM
It was far more a complex, tempestuous thing than my brain wants to admit.

I can feel the rock beneath my ass and the salt spray on my tongue, I can see my toe print pressing into yours and the raw, humbling acknowledgement you and I are not so different.

What was I supposed to do?
I follow the rules...and they break me.

I defy the status quo and I get my teeth kicked in.

For you, I would be anything, and suffer anything more...there are days, and hours of days, where the exquisite gift of our love is entirely more than I could bear and yet....
I would have died without it..



I think of Perpetua, dying in her youth for Jesus, and wonder how badly we really have had it so far.