Little Billy
01-23-2007, 02:59 AM
We tend to think of ourselves as the height of life on Earth, and especially the height of the primate family.
Of course, this is utter bullshit.
You see, contrary to what you might think, there really isn't a lot of food in jungles, and competition is really fierce for what limited chow there is.
The most fit monkeys got the food. The least fit monkeys had to drop down out of the trees, and go looking for grub out on the savannah. However, the savannah is a dangerous place, so our ancestors had to learn to stand up (to see over the grass to watch for prey and predators), and grow brains (to learn to use rocks to supplement our pitiful natural weaponry). And it was all downhill from there.
So we're the loser monkeys. The failures of the monkey world.
Of course, we had our revenge on our smartass, more-fit cousins, by locking them in cages where everyone can see them whack off.
Or Kill Me.
(Note to pedantic types: Yeah, yeah, I know we didn't evolve from modern day monkeys, but shared a common ancestor. It's a colloquialism. Get over it. Nobody likes a know-it-all.)
Of course, this is utter bullshit.
You see, contrary to what you might think, there really isn't a lot of food in jungles, and competition is really fierce for what limited chow there is.
The most fit monkeys got the food. The least fit monkeys had to drop down out of the trees, and go looking for grub out on the savannah. However, the savannah is a dangerous place, so our ancestors had to learn to stand up (to see over the grass to watch for prey and predators), and grow brains (to learn to use rocks to supplement our pitiful natural weaponry). And it was all downhill from there.
So we're the loser monkeys. The failures of the monkey world.
Of course, we had our revenge on our smartass, more-fit cousins, by locking them in cages where everyone can see them whack off.
Or Kill Me.
(Note to pedantic types: Yeah, yeah, I know we didn't evolve from modern day monkeys, but shared a common ancestor. It's a colloquialism. Get over it. Nobody likes a know-it-all.)